Anecdotes.

From out of the temple is sacred minister, catching a taxi ride. Suddenly, right under the wheels of an old woman comes out. The driver goes round it, cut a three-story mat, and the priest says to him:.
- Sin, my son. But the power of prayer.
They go on. Then jump on the road kids. The taxi driver again.
- Fuck your....
the priest to him again:.
- Sin, my son, so it is impossible to. The power of prayer.
and go beyond. Then the machine enters one wheel in the pit. The wheel comes off and the car with a terrible screeching continues its motion. Then start praying carrier. Suddenly the wheel rolls back, and then another, and fastened in place.
Here the Holy Father:.
- Well, no s * myself!.



Ta- ah-ah -to, well, for what reason we have booze?.
- So buy washes.
- Oh -oh-oh, it's good. Well, they bought?.
- Yes, three bottles of vodka! .



He:.
- All Zai. I sleep. Kiss, love, hug, hum, and the nozzle comfortably into your ear.
it:.
- Eeeee. and for that nozzle is in the ear?.



What sometimes dream of a cat:.
Be large and sometimes ' accidentally ' touch their feet hosts.



The wife to her husband:.
- Honey, I 'll make you very happy now!.
husband:.
- I will miss you very much!.





We began to live better, said the government.
- We are happy for you, thought the people.



Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They need time to change, and one and toyzhe reason!.



My son, do not go to the disco every night, oglohnesh! .



In the shop:.
- Good evening, you have water?.

- No water, water!.

Then please give me water.

- No water, water!.

Yes, I'm looking at you here x ** get drunk!.



Sitting in the tea house two elder, drinking tea. Runs a little boy:.
- Uncle Vano, Uncle Gogia asked you to call him.
- Thank you, pager -jan.



In the dark there are two men preulke.
The first takes the knife from his pocket and says:.
- Do you have money?.
The second ( pulling out an ax from under his shirt ):.
- And you what?.



night. Student dormitory. On the floor in the middle of the corridor is a student zablevanny. Beside him stand two or smoke.
One - the other:.
- Look, he even said that the pasta did not eat.



lesson atheism. The teacher says:.
- Kids, there is no God! .
- No.
- So, there is no God!.
Then Little Johnny from the last batch draws the arm. The teacher:.
- What do you want?.
- Can I ask a question Masha?.
- Well, let's.
- Mary, do you see the teacher's brains out?.
- No.
- This means that the teacher they are not!.



Have you ever heard about the method of 'dry wash '?.
This is when the basket of dirty clothes get something very clear!.



I used to live alone, and all my belongings were strewn haphazardly in place. Now I had a girl, and now all my clothes are neat and beautiful is not known where.



I hate her husband's friends. fiercely. All have them, reptiles, marrying.



Dear Natasha, on the beautiful summer evening,.
When I met you at the ball of the emperor,.
I realized that life would be.
his wife, the same beautiful as you. I looked at.
you all night, without stopping for a moment,.
peered at the slightest movement, trying to look.
in each, even the smallest, the hole.
your soul. I never for a moment averted his eyes from the.
your gorgeous body. But alas, all my efforts.
draw your attention were unsuccessful. I think that.
will only be a waste of time.
All prayers and promises from my side.
For I know that I have too little.
status. You only deserve the permanent court korolevskogogo.
member. But still I want to assure you that.
you're the most beautiful creature in the world.
I've never seen such at -.
divitelnoy women who do so much for our.
homeland. And only your enormous.
modesty hides it. My heart breaks.
chest, makes you wish for!.
Natasha, I love you!.

Pierre Pierre.
21. X. 1807.
A LETTER FROM NOW READ LINE SINCE FIRST ))) ))).
Ear -ha-ha, here 's a wit Tolstoy ).


After the death of Russian and American, go to hell.
The devil asks them:.
- What the hell you go, in Russian or American?.
- What's the difference?.
- The U.S. should be eaten every day for a bucket of shit and in Russian by two.
The American chose the U.S., and Russian thought, ' All my life I lived in Russia, what really changed? '.
A month later there. Russian asks:.
- Well, how are you?.
- Well, ate a bucket of shit in the morning and all day free. Do you?.
- And as always: that shit is not delivered, the buckets are not enough.


Wife: - Is it true that all stupid and voracious rodents?.
Husband: - True, true, my mouse.


The priest goes to the car, going along the road sees a nun, and offers her a ride to the monastery. A nun gets into a car. Pop all the way.
looks at a nun, and suddenly puts his hand on her knee. A nun:.
- Father, remember Psalm 129.
- Sorry sister but the flesh is so weak because.
The priest removed his hand, but after some time touching a nun for the knee. A nun:.
- Father, remember Psalm 129.
Priest apologizes again. This continues several times. Finally they arrive at the monastery. There, the priest looks to the Bible, is the 129th.
psalm and reads: ' Look above and you will achieve your victory! '.
Moral of the story for women: if you do not want to remain unsatisfied, express yourself snee.
Moral of the story for men: remember once and for all women never say yes right.


Yesterday at the clinic name Siamese twins of the city was held Sinegorye.
operation of the division of dragon. Two- legged vipers and pythons.
(boy) is doing well.

The husband returns home, his wife washing the floor, he slapped her ass and said, ' Take your grain out of the way ...


Institute, the fifth pair of. All students are tired. And ask the teacher: - Oleg, well, let go, we are very tired... - Well, when this is over a piece of chalk - and then go home. A voice from the back of the desk: - Allow me to sozhru!.


I woke up very happy and running ran into the shower. With a smile on his face, I went to the kitchen with the idea, but what can I give my wife. But she even forgot to congratulate me.
- Not a fig - I thought - well, nothing. Children are not forgotten. But children also lost.
Can you imagine with what feelings I was driving to work. But when I walked into his office, secretary, Julia said to me gently:.
- Good morning, boss. Happy Birthday!.
And I felt a little better. Somewhere in the middle of the day, Julie knocked on the door to me and said:.
- Chief, let's go have lunch together! .
And we went. After the third martini Julia said:.
- Chief, went ka - me home. Because of affairs at work there, and you have a birthday!.
And we went. When we arrived, Julia whispered in my ear:.
Chef - in, sit down here on the couch, and I 'll go and put on themselves something more comfortable!.
And she's gone.
After five minutes the door opened and Julie came with the cake, it was followed by my wife, children, parents, mother-in-law, colleagues, friends and many others.
And I was sitting on the couch naked and thinking: Fired bitch!.


The girl on reception at the dentist. She calls the guy. She asked the dentist to answer. He picks up the phone and says, ... to. her mouth is busy. Now I'll finish it and you will call splyunet. ...

Sitting in a cafe and Russian noon. He is on the table.
toast with jam and cereals. Approaches him and an American, chewing gum, asked him:.
- And here you are, the whole Russian bread you eat?.
Russian says:.
- Of course! .
American bubble gum blowing out says:.
- And we - no! .
Russian silent. American, once again blowing a bubble of chewing gum and asked: - And you, Russian, and eat sandwiches with jam?.
Russian says:.
- Of course, we eat!.
- And we - no! . Seeds, rind and all sorts of bits of it we collect in containers, recycle, make jam from them and sell to Russia! .
Russian and finally, a pretty offended and he in turn.
asks: - What do you use condoms when doing this?.
American:.
- Throw, of course.
Russian:.
- And we - no! .



Internet Internet, let me go to the toilet!.



The case of the theater. Performance for children. The moment where you should see about the main villain - the light is off, the orchestra so wary buzzing. silence in the hall. Then a thin, childish voice: ...


Ex-wife - lecturer in the university. Divorced three months ago, rented an apartment. Maintained a normal relationship. A month ago, my wife goes into Saturday morning with a stick, something to take away from a computer.
And here is my girl from the bathroom out. In a towel, of course. The room goes, and his wife on the machine:.
- Zdraste, Anna ******* VNA.
- Hello, Julia.
Two seconds... hang that way in 10, after which she so thoughtfully provides:.
- Bl @... I set off on a course not pass.
And neigh both, and I 'm a moron....
Yesterday Julia was offset machine. Scribe... God forbid you have become friends.


- Natasha, ate a piece of cake.
- Thank you, Yuri, I do not want.
- Well, eaten. Delicious!.
- No, thank you. I do not eat after six.
- Natasha, please.
- Yura, I do not like sweets.
- Eat Cake durynda! .

three buhgaltershi. First:.
- Yesterday, touched her husband's testicles - it turns out they have it warm!.
The next day, the second:.
- I have touched her - too warm!.
The next morning, look - a third full feys completely broken.
They are to her:.
- What is it?.
it:.
- Yeah... Potrogola her husband's testicles, and said that all the guys for some reason the eggs warm, cold and he... More did not have time to say....



Never... ever hear, do not pass a plate of shells of the seeds near the fan!.



Injustice - this is when your wife is pregnant, all the relatives and friends stroked her belly and say: Congratulations! .